Through The Kaleidoscope
by Dorplet
Summary: Drabbles about Clementine, the heroine of The Walking Dead. PM me requests! Latest Chapter: Silent Lips (Ben x Clem)
1. Can Anybody Hear Me?

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own The Walking Dead. That belongs to Robert Kirkman and Telltale Games.

**Character(s): **Clementine, Lee and Sandra.

**Summary: **Their first encounter.

* * *

Clem first meets Lee when she's lost, tired and alone.

She's been hiding up in that old treehouse of hers for - how many days now? - three days, maybe even four. She's run out of the granola crackers and the sticky marshmallows that she brought up (_and that mum said were bad for her teeth_) and there were only so many times she could count the number of planks on the wooden floor. Clementine fiddles with her walkie-talkie once again, hoping against hope that someone out there will hear the noise and listen to her words; but at the same time she's scared _soscared_ that instead of being rescued, she'll wish she had been eaten instead.

She doesn't know how it happened, either. How the sun rose on Saturday like it was any other _normal_ day and Sandra had come over as she had always done, and her mum and dad had headed off to Savannah. _Savannah_. She lets the word hang on her lips, rasping from her dry throat as she croaks it out again. Savannah. They'd be there, of course - when she managed to escape from here she'd find her way to them and everything would be okay. No more monsters. No more nightmares. No more - Clem's thoughts break off as she hears the growling of monsters (_again)_ and a figure clambers over the fence and into her backyard.

She watches him curiously from her eagle's eye' perch. It's the same guy she saw just now, in the forest. He was being attacked by hordes of monsters and she didn't think he would survive. She's glad he did - but if she changes her mind, her hammer's in her hands, ready to drop on his head.

He doesn't seem to know she's here, though; he's calling out for help. And he's wounded. Clem's sharp eyes take in his bloody leg and his tattered clothes. A blue shirt. Jeans. Sneakers. He appears normal, but you could never tell who the crazies were. There was the guy who had tried to break in and steal their television - walkers got him soon after. Clem hopes that this guy isn't the same, but you could never be too sure. Clem shudders as she recalls how Sandra tried to kill her after the news flashed on the television, screaming that Clem would be better off dead than alive. Clementine barely escaped the babysitter, _the one who was supposed to take care of her not killherkillherkillher_, and made her way to the treehouse. He enters the house, and she wonders if she ought to warn the guy that Sandra might still be roaming in the house, but she decides against it. _Let's see how he deals with it_.

He's been in there a long time, and Clem starts to get impatient. Maybe he's been taken by Sandra, after all - and Clementine's heart aches. She doesn't want to see anyone else get hurt by the monsters. Overcome by despair, she finds herself pressing the walkie-talkie against her cheek and calling out for Daddy, Daddy, even though she knows there's no one to hear her.

The walkie-talkie crackles and a voice springs out. "_Hello?" _The voice is deep and reassurring, and Clementine's heart lifts. Maybe - maybe he could rescue her and take her to her parents.

The guy stumbles out of the glass door, still clutching the radio in his hand. He's making so much noise, and Clem sighs. "You need to be quiet," she warns him. She grins as he turns around and heads back in.

He hesitates a while before talking. "_I'm not a monster."_

"Good," Clem responds. She doesn't know whether to believe him or not, but it's not like she has a whole lot of options.

_"Where are your parents?" _he asks.

Clementine doesn't see any point lying to him. He could help her, and she wasn't going to reject his help. "They took a trip and left me with Sandra. They're in Savannah, I think. Where the boats are." She's not sure why she added the last part in (_but maybe in some part of her mind she's wishing she could get on a boat and escape away from land. Monsters couldn't swim.)_

_"Are you safe?" _He's concerned about her, and Clem takes that as a good sign. In return, she tells him the truth. "I'm outside in my treehouse. They can't get in." She knows that he'll know what she's talking about - the monsters. The people who were killed by them turned into one themselves. The streets outside were crawling with them.

_"That's smart," _he says, and Clem feels herself growing warm at his praise. Smiling, she opens the door of her treehouse and is immediately hit with strong sunlight. It's been quite a while since she ventured out into the open. She focuses on the dark figure and waves at him. "See?"

"Can you see me? I can see you through the window." A wide smile spreads across his face and he waves back at her. He isn't a bad guy, Clem decides. He seems nice and he seems sane - the most important factors. Check.

He's still waving at her, and Clem's eyes widen as she sees a dark figure looming behind him. _Sandra_. "AHHHHHH!" She slams the door of the treehouse shut.

The guy turns around and sees the monster. He's grappling with her, trying to prevent her from biting him while pushing her away. Clem watches from her treehouse as they wrestle, neither seemingly backing down. _But he's injured and tired and he doesn't have anything to kill her with, whereas all she needs is to bite him and it'll be over. _Clementine doesn't want anyone else to die; but she's scared that if she goes to help him Sandra will bite her and turn _her_ into a monster, one that tries to infect others. She would never find her parents (_or she might kill them herself)_. Clem peeks through the window and cringes as she sees the guy hit the counter and stumble.

_He trusted her._

He was worried about her and her parents and was happy to see her safe. Clem can't - _won't_ - see someone like that become a monster. She jams her hat onto her head, clutching the hammer securely and slithers down the ladder of her treehouse. She unlocks the door and stands in the doorway behind the guy. He's crawling backwards desparately, kicking Sandra in the face as he does so. He's not noticing her so Clem calls out to get his attention. "Here... AHHH!" Sandra's _a bit too close _to the guy for her liking and Clementine steps backwards involuntarily. The guy is crying out (in pain? in fear?) every time he lashes out with his foot. _  
_

Finally he turns around and immediately spots the hammer. He grabs it from her trembling hands and she thinks that if he had done that a moment later, she would probably have dropped the hammer onto her own toes. He's smashing the hammer into Sandra's face, and Clementine winces and turns away, trying not to picture the gruesome sight behind her. All she can think of is how Sandra always made the best peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches. How Sandra would braid her hair and sing her to sleep. Try as she might, she can't block out the sounds behind her; the slamming of the hammer into Sandra and the _squishy _sound as Sandra groans - and falls silent.

Heaving with exertion, the guy gets to his feet, furrowing his eyes. "Man..." he mutters. He looks up and she's struck by how tall and imposing he is. "Hello there."

His words are meant to be kind but Clem can't help staring at the remains of Sandra. "Did you kill it?" she asks, because in this world you had to be sure of everything. She'd seen one too many people kill the monster and turn away, only to be struck again from behind. This time, they never got up.

"I don't know. I think so," he frowns. Clem bites her lip; he wasn't going to survive long if he "thought so". He _had _to be certain.

Clem tries to remind him. "Sometimes they come back," she says, gazing up at him. She wants him to tell her that yes, all of them are dead, that she didn't need to worry anymore because they were all _gone, _but his next words aren't that. "Have you killed one?" He's direct.

Clem shakes her head. "No. But they get shot a lot." She had seen them, on the streets with the living firing bullets everywhere. Some found their intended target. Most didn't. And more came, day by day.

"You've been all by yourself through this?" He crouches down and locks eyes with her. _He didn't think I could do it_, and she feels herself swelling indignantly. _I may be small, but I'm not stupid_._  
_

"Yeah," she says, but she's forcibly reminded of the fact that she's been alone. The words slip out of her. "I want my parents to come home now..."

His expression changes as he lowers his head. He looks like a heavy weight has just settled on him. Slowly, reluctantly, he drags out his words. "I think that might be a little while, you know?" he says softly.

"Oh." Clem tries not to cry because _sheisnotababy_, she is stronger than that and she hates letting strangers see her cry. Still, she can't help staring at the blood-splattered floor. She clutches her hands tightly and - someone's holding them, warming them for her. Surprised, she looks up to see the guy looking at her with gentle eyes. "Look, I don't know what happened. But I'll look after you till then," he promises.

She doesn't say anything but inside her, she can feel _hope _rising up like a bubble that could be pricked anytime. _He would look after her. _She was safe. And somehow, she trusted this guy (_although she didn't even know his name_) because of his eyes. And his smile. He smiled with his eyes, and dad had told her that anyone who did that could always be trusted, because you'd be able to tell the difference betweeen a genuine smile and a fake smile.

His smiles were real the whole time.

And even her own pessimistic thoughts can't quell the emotion that's bubbling beneath her like a wave, that's rising up and filling her with happiness. She would go with this guy and she would find her parents. They'd be reunited: a family, once again. They'd fight off the zombies and escape (_on a boat?_) and live in a whole new, monster-free, world._  
_

"I'm Clementine."

"...My name is Lee."

_No matter what happens, there would always be hope._

* * *

**Welcome to a series of drabbles about Clementine, the heroine from The Walking Dead (game). Technically, this chapter is not a drabble, but I loved writing about how Clementine met Lee - so screw it. They won't be in chronological order, and mostly will be focusing on Clem's relationships with other characters. Again, the dialogue and choices made will be based on PewDiePie's Let's Play of this awesome game.**

**If you liked this chapter, feel free to check out my other TWD one-shot Blink: The Last Shot.**

**IMPT: PM ME WITH REQUESTS FOR ANY FUTURE DRABBLES. I may accept requests that are not necessarily related to Clem.**

**Review please!**


	2. Chalk Airplanes

******IMPT: PM ME WITH REQUESTS FOR ANY FUTURE DRABBLES. I may accept requests that are not necessarily related to Clem.**

**DISCLAIMER: **Yes, The Walking Dead does not belong to me :( Robert Kirkman and Telltale Games own this amazing game.

**Character(s): **Clementine and Duck.

**Summary: **_How_ did Duck get that bug in his pillow?

* * *

"Why do you _draw _so much?"

It's Duck's loud voice boring into her skull again, and Clem looks up from her work, annoyed. Sometimes she finds herself wishing that Duck had never joined her and Lee; others, she's ecstatic at the thought that she has a _friend _and that they play together. It reminds her of happier times, when the teacher used to let them play in the playground at middle school.

Except there are no more teachers and no more schools.

"You're annoying," Clem scowls. "And I'm not going to answer you."

Duck squats down beside her, the freckles on his face glinting in the sun. "Seriously, though. What's the point of drawing? It's useless." He rubs his fingers over one of the chalk drawings Clem has made on the sidewalk, and his fingers come away whiter and the drawing smudged. Clementine knocks his hand away. "Hey!" She looks at the family portrait she had just finished, of her and her parents holding hands. Duck's meddling has caused her parents' necks to be erased, making it seem like their heads are floating. Clem suppresses a shiver at the sight of the stick figures looking deformed (_and in some parts of her brain she's thinking what if what if they became like that) _and she uses her palm to wipe everything away.

Still angry, she turns around to face Duck, her hands balling up in fists. "You ruined my drawings," she accuses.

Duck holds up his hands. "I'm sorry. Besides, girls shouldn't fight. Mum says so."

"Lee says differently. He says that in this world, regardless of who you are, young or old, boy or girl, everyone needs to learn how to defend themselves."

Duck shrugs. "But guys are supposed to protect girls. Girls are weak and helpless."

"Everything's different now. We can't afford to think that way anymore," Clem says, tears pricking her eyes as she realizes how true her statement is. She abandons her chalk and sinks onto the floor, hugging her knees. She's trying desperately not to think of the world out there infested with monsters - no, _walkers_ - as Lee called them. What if Duck became a walker? What if Ben became a walker? What if - God forbid - _Lee _became a walker? Clementine presses her hands against her mouth and tries to stifle the sobs. "Everything's different now," she chokes out.

She feels a warm hand on her shoulder and she meets Duck's hazel eyes. "I'll protect you, Clemmie," he smiles. "You don't have to worry anymore." He leans forward and wraps her in a hug, and Clem stiffens, but slowly relaxes into his arms. There would always be Duck by her side, and she hugs him tighter, reluctant to let him go.

All too soon, Duck pulls away. "But hey," he says nonchantly. "Girls _are _weak." And he flicks the chalk into Clem's hair.

Clem's running after him again, both of them shrieking and laughing as they weave in and out of the adults. She's pelting him with chalk pellets, causing his skin to be white. "You look like a walker!" she gasps, finally giving up and rolling on the floor in tears of laughter.

"Well, you look like Larry." Duck smirks at Clementine's white hair.

And Clem thinks that just for that, and calling her weak and helpless, _and _ruining her drawing, Duck's going to pay. She's already got the perfect plan in mind.

* * *

_"WHO PUT A BUG IN MY PILLOW?!_"

Duck's running around and screaming frantically, tumbling on the ground in an attempt to shake off the bug latched to his head. The adults are all opening the windows and yelling at him to _quiet down_, but Duck's not taking heed as he takes a pail of water and dumps it over himself, leaving him soaked to the skin.

In her bedroom, Clem watches the scene and giggles. _That's what you get for messing with me._


	3. Broken Dreams

**IMPT: PM ME REQUESTS FOR FUTURE DRABBLES.**

**DISCLAIMER: **Walking Dead does. Not. Belong. To. Me.

**Reviewers: **Purplepox: thank you so much for reviewing! Yes Clemmie is awesome and way better than Duck :D | cathernatural: I'm glad you liked the chapters too! Personally I have a soft spot for Clem/Duck which combined make Cluck. Eww, worst shipping name ever. | 1cepick: Thank you so much for your advice! Actually sometimes I forgot that we are seeing this through Clem's eyes and made her sound too adult :/ thanks for reminding me!

**Character(s): **Clem, and Duck. Again. I'm sorry, the ideas for these two keep on flowing. I think they have a whole story that can be expanded upon really well.

**Summary**: This came from another chapter I was writing, but I thought it deserved a chapter of its own. The title's self-explanatory. I quite like this.

* * *

"I wanted to be an artist," Clem says.

"I wanted to be a detective. Like, you know, Sherlock Holmes," Duck replies.

"I wanted to marry."

"I wanted to put bad guys in jail."

"I wanted to visit New York City."

"I wanted to travel around the world."

"I wanted all those things I could never have, and now I want those things that I had."

"I wanted what I never had, and now I want what I had."

"I wanted a family."

"I wanted adventure."

"I never wanted this to happen."

"But if it had never happened, we would never have met."

"...I'm glad I met you," she says finally.

"Me too," he whispers.


	4. I'm More Than A Bird

**DISCLAIMER**: If I owned Walking Dead, do you honestly think I would have let Lee die and made everyone cry? NO. No. No.

**Reviewers: **cathernatural: Sucky shipping names are depressing. Dlee's a tad better :P Nothing can beat Suspian (Susan x Caspian from Narnia). That name makes me cringe. | Purplepox: No problem :) but we're stuck with either Dlee. Or Cluck. But I guess it'll grow on everyone soon. | a random reader: I love reading long reviews like yours, they make me happy ^^ I'll try to include more Clem/Duck next time! Thanks for taking the time to write such a long and detailed review. | MuffinWuffin: Ahaha thanks for reviewing this story and my other TWD story :) Poor Clem...

_**Characters(s):**_ Clem and Lee.

**Summary: **CLEMENTINE 'poem'. Okay I'm sorry for the short chapters but school's really really busy. Don't worry, the next one is definitely going to be longer :D I like the ending of this! If you like you can go listen to the song 'Superman' by Five For Fighting. Inspired this one. Lee's definitely Clem's Superman~

* * *

Can you survive on your own?

Live in this mad world,

Enemies surrounding you

Making sure there's no

Escape.

No, you say. Stay with me.

Take care of me.

I'll try, sweet pea, but I'm

Not Superman

Even though you think I am.


	5. Others Live Here But Not Me

**DISCLAIMER: **I'm actually Robert Kirkman in disguise writing fanfiction about my own stories. Boo.

**Reviewers: **TheSkySpiritsTalentShow: THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING EVERY CHAPTER \(^o^)/ it really cheered me up alot! *fellow brofist* hope you enjoy this chapter too! Duck and Clem are just really good friends and Pewd would go mad if he thought otherwise :P| a random reader: You flatter me :/ and yes, Clem depends so much on Lee. That poem was meant for Lee writing something after Clem had gone to sleep, worrying about her too much. | MuffinWuffin: Awww thanks for the sweet review :')

**Character: **IRENE! This is not a Clementine drabble though. Sorry 'bout that. I had fun writing this though ~

**Summary: **I kind of got the first line from Reddit. Based on what happened to Irene before Lee found her. I'm not so sure whether this is nice, but I'll let you all decide for yourself.

* * *

_Others live here but not me._

Who are the others, you may ask?

They're everywhere. Don't you see them outside? They're crawling on the streets. They're clawing at the doors. They're crying and growling in some strange language of their own. Sometimes they eat each other.

But, of course you don't - if you can read this safely, they are gone.

Of course I'll try to explain. But there's so little time left and _oh my god there's someone outside he's calling for help and screaming and I'm in here where it's safe. He shouldn't scream like that; sound attracts more of them. He's screaming louder and higher now and and can people even make that sound? Twisting. Tearing. Ripping. They- they- they're the devils! They are not God's creatures. He's not screaming anymore and all you can hear are those creatures EATING him THEY SCARE ME I don't want them to ever get me._

I need to run away, fast; but my safe haven has turned into my prison. I can't get out and they can't get in. They've smelled me at last, haven't they? I hear them lumbering up the stairs. They're coming closer to my door and they're scratching at it, hacking at it with their teeth. The foul stench of their rotting bodies seep in underneath the door and I'm choking on that scent.

I'm sorry, of course - I'm drifting off. I'll try to think but it's getting harder to think now. My brain seems to haev slowd down somehwat and I tihnk Ill juust take a cap. I mean cat you knoow the wrod thats ment for slep

* * *

I'm back.

The nap definitely helped. Nap - that was the word I was trying to remember. I simply collapsed on the floor and I was woken up again by mor scratching. _There are two of them outside now_.

I guess you could call them zombies. The living dead. The people who die come back alive. It's not the angel type of alive, though. It's more like they're monsters now. Beasts. Inhuman. They'll eat anything - _anyone - _and those people will become monsters too. I- I -

I'm bitten, too.

I'm going to become a monster. I can feel it - the infection spreading through my skin. I've tried to stop the bleeding as long as I could, but I can't seem to do it. It's not the bite that kills you - it's the blood loss and bacteria surrounding the wound that does it. If you die, you come back as _them_. No matter how you died. That's how it happened; that's how our world became like this. Hell on earth.

That's what happened to my boyfrienidd.

He was bitten and he _turned into a monster_. We didn't know it would do that, see? We didn't know he would ... die and come back. He was weak, oh so weak, lying on the floor. He told me to leave him behind, to run. But I couldnt. Of course I dint. I loved him, after all (and I believed he loved me too). So I stayed.

I was half asleep by the time I felt a tap on my shoulder. I woke up into a nightmare.

He had become unbeleeevably strong and was on top of me in a second. Can you imagine it? It's a CORPSE holding you down. I was crying and pleading with him but he didn't seem to recognize me! His eyes had become white - blank. Soulless. Before I could react, he bite me on my side. I cry out and managed to wriggle out from underneath him. He chases me. Hes still chasing me. i run

* * *

Damn, I'm sorry for drifting off again. I'll try to make this fast.

I ran under a bunch of tables - we had been hiding in a storeroom - and I was thinking I had made it _when he grabbed my ankle_.

He-he started pulling me back, back to get eaten and and and and die slowly and finally turn into him. I winged a prayer to God and He must have heard me, because I managed to kick him in his face and pull aawy. I crawled up the stairs, slowly, avoiding the monsters that were all over the place.

My god they are _everywhere_

What's there for me to do except die? At least if I die, by my own terms, I won't have to suffer. I'm not going to- to turn into something like them. A bullet to the brain. That'll do it, that'll blow my brains out so that I won't become them. They're not human! They're something created by the devil. It's... unholy.

I won't lose my humanity like some of the survivors already have. They've started looting and killing everyone - living or dead. It doesn't matter. The apocalypse has finally fallen upon us and no one can survive this.

_God you have a plan, don't you? Take the chosen ones with you when you go - don't leave me behind_

A gun

I need a gun

read this if you can

sooner or later they'll get you

_they scare me_

.

.

.

_i leave them lying in their hole_

_i hear them laughing as i go_

.

.

.

voices.

outside. a guy shouting

"Don't come in... PLEASE," I manage. Before I pass out again, I can hear him swinging something heavy and hard into the monsters. There's a gunshot and my eyes widen. _A gun_. He has a gun. im going, okay im going

_god, can you hear me? are you there?_

I crawl and i crawl and i crawl towards the door

.

.

.

_im one of them now_

By the time you read this I'll already be dead.

.

_Others live here but not me._


	6. Silent Lips

**DISCLAIMER: **My name is Lee Everett. Also, the song is "Disenchanted" from My Chemical Romance. EITHER THAT OR I AM GERARD WAY. Edit (24/3) I want to cry about this now because I found out yesterday that MCR disbanded. Yeah, they disbanded. The band that brought us Na Na Na and Famous Last Words and I Don't Love you... is gone. I'm freaking distraught over this. They were awesome, and I guess you could call this a tribute to them... thanks, My Chemical Romance. This was written _way_ before but I forgot to publish it, sorry. About the long wait: was overseas, apologies for the really late update.  
WARNING: There's a bunch of f words featured in this fic. Do I need to change the rating about it? :O

******Reviewers: **cathernatural: Nice to see you back again, bro! Do you watch Cry too? :) | a random reader: Ran out of inspiration at the end, oops. See you around on Reddit. | MuffinWuffin: Argh late update late update I'll try if I can! Glad you liked that deviation.

**Character(s): **Ben, and Clem.

**Summary**: Angsty. Ben's coping with Carley's death, and can Clem help? How would Clem react if she knew his secret?

* * *

_~Well I was there on the day_

_They sold the cars for the queen~_

"Do you miss her?"

Ben looked up, startled. He had been unable to sleep for the past few hours, staring blankly out of the window at the dead space outside. How was he supposed to sleep when _everything _reminded him of her? The walkers outside. The bodies left behind. The green of the trees.

"Do you miss her?" Clementine repeated, clambering up onto the seat beside him. She gazed at him with wide eyes, and Ben tried - unsuccessfully - to ignore her eyes boring into him. He and Clem had certainly grown closer over the time spent at the motel, with Duck and Clem always using him as a judge ("Who can jump the highest?" "Duck, you cheated! He did, didn't he?"). He had to admit: Clem was smart, smarter than a lot of kids (and most adults, if he was honest). She was perceptive and a pretty good artist, and Ben found himself watching his language around her. Ben disliked being corrected, but more than that, he genuinely didn't want to ruin Clem's innocence.

He forced himself to sound nonchalant. "Maybe. I guess." He shrugged. He was _not _going to break down in front of a _kid,_ especially when that kid was Clem. She'd been through worse than him and she hadn't gone insane - yet. Sooner or later, Ben decided, the children of this fucked-up world were going to kill themselves (or their parents would do it for them) if they didn't die soon enough. Who wanted to grow up in this God-forsaken place? Not him, for that matter. Some days he felt like just taking the gun that he held in his hands and putting it to his temple. Firing it into his brain. If he died, he wasn't going to die having his guts ripped out by walkers. _Call me a coward but I don't want to die painfully_.

"Because I do, you know." Clem hugged her knees tightly to herself. "I miss her so _much_." Her voice broke on the last word.

Ben was stunned by how Clem's voice tugged at something deep inside his heart - the raw emotion of pain. For a moment, he was broken. Gone. Lost. He was just a kid, left behind by the last person who actually cared about him. Lee might have noticed him, but Carley _cared_. She cared so much that she defended him - and died for it. His throat closed up and he felt like punching the wall of the RV. _Fuck Lilly_.

_~And when the lights all went out_

_We watched our lives on the screen~_

He realized that Clementine was still waiting for his response, and cleared his throat. "Yeah. It still hurts," he sighed. Try as he might, he could not erase the memory of Lilly pulling out the gun - a flash - and Carley falling to the ground, eyes fixated upon him... and the guilt that she'd died for _nothing_. She had died because he, Ben, had refused to own up.

If he had just - if only he had the guts, the _balls _to tell Lilly that yes, he was the one to make the deal with the bandits. Because all he'd ever wanted was just to protect them. Hell, Lilly might have yelled at him, but Lee and the others would have backed him up. He could have explained, made her see goddamn reason. But that crazy bitch! He was glad Lee had left her behind. (_what if he hadn't Lilly would have gone along with them and found out Ben was the traitor and he would have died_)

Ben shook his head. "She would have died anyway."

"Huh?" Clem looked at him curiously, and Ben cursed inwardly for speaking out loud. "Nothing, Clem. Just talking to myself."

"Are you talking about Carley?" Clem demanded. "She _did not_ deserve to die! Lilly killed Carley! She had no reason to do so! Carley was _innocent_!"

_Shit_. He sure as hell did not want Clementine pointing fingers at someone else. "Who's to say she didn't do it?"

Clem's eyes started welling up with tears. "Carley wouldn't do that! Carley's great. Carley is..." she gulped, struggling for air. "Carley would never betray our group. She loved us all too much. She would have died to protect us."

_And you wouldn't_. Ben frowned at the concealed meaning in Clem's words.

...Or maybe he was just being paranoid.

The words were dragged out of him like thorns sticking in his throat. He had to say those words, _had _to, if not he could never live with himself. "I... don't think Carley did it either."

"But why would Lilly kill Carley?"

"Women, who knows? They weren't exactly friendly to each other before that." It hurt more than he'd expected to talk about them in the past tense. As if they were gone for a long time, instead of just a few hours. One day and they had lost two of their members already. Involuntarily, Ben glanced up and scanned the rest of the van. Kenny was driving, his shoulders tense as he concentrated on avoiding any straying walkers. Katjaa was beside him in the front seat; Ben could just make out the dim outline of Duck, cradled in Katjaa's arms. Lee was sitting on the bench and holding his head in his hands. Carley's death had probably hit him harder than anyone else - Ben could have sworn they had a thing going on before...

Ben sighed. "You know what? I don't really want to talk about this any longer, Clem. I'm sorry. Go find Lee." He turned his back on her and pressed his face against the cold glass window. Ben was grateful he could still talk to someone who didn't think that a) he was a traitor, b) he was a liar, or c) he was a coward.

He felt a tugging on his sleeve, and Clem spoke up. "I wish Carley was here. Whoever the traitor was - Carley shouldn't have died for them." Her eyes were filled with sorrow.

"I know," Ben agreed. "Go to sleep now, okay? When you wake up you'll feel better." Clem hesitated, but eventually gave in and lay down on the seat, grabbing the sheet from the ground. Ben searched the cupboards till he found another blanket and threw it over her. He watched as Clem gradually settled into deep breathing, before he curled up into a ball at the other end and tried not to think.

_~I hate the ending myself_

_But it started with an all right scene~_

* * *

_"Don't kill me. I'll do anything, I swear! Just don't kill me!"_

_A throaty laugh. "What could you give us, ya little punk? We need more supplies, and you can't supply us shit. We'll just kill you now or later and be on our merry way towards your group. Did you guys really think you were alone? We've been observing you and we know your strengths. Soon as we get the kids everyone's going to cave. It'll be quick, we promise. And the best part? You'll get to see them all die first before we kill you."_

_"You can't do this to them! I'll give you anything - whatever you need! Please, _please _don't kill them! I'll get them for you somehow. Just don't harm anyone!"_

_"Listen kid, we need those fucking supplies. __Tim's got shot by one of those fuckers down by the dairy farm, and we've got a bunch of infections."_

_"I-I can get medicines for you! I'll bring them to a hole in the wall outside the motel."_

_"You'd better get those stuff for us. Meds and drugs, you got it? If not... we'll know where to find you. If you blab, you're gonna wish we killed you here."_

* * *

Ben bolted upright from his seat, his hair mussed and his eyes wide in terror.

_Just a dream_. Oh.

The RV had stopped moving and he noticed that beside Katjaa, Duck, and Clem, no one else was inside. Ben could hear voices chattering - a walker had probably gotten stuck again. He felt a pricking feeling on his back and he turned around slowly - to see Clem staring at him with realization dawning in her eyes. "I heard you talking in your sleep," she whispered. "It was you, wasn't it? You _betrayed _us?"

"It wasn't me -" Ben began, shaking his head defensively. "I didn't do it."

Clementine didn't seem to listen; she was covering her mouth in horror and backing away from him slowly. "No wonder you seemed so guilty when Lilly was accusing you! _How _could you have let Carley _die _for you? You actually got someone killed because you didn't want to tell the truth! You were the one all along. You made Lilly and Carley, die!"

Ben flushed. "It wasn't my fault! All I ever wanted to do was help the group. But did anybody give me a chance? No. It was always Lee this, Lilly that, or Kenny there! Oh, nobody bothered to ask my opinion on _anything_. 'Would you like to stay at the dairy farm?' 'Do you want some rations?' Instead it was always, 'You screwed up. Again.' or 'I don't trust him. Keep an eye on that guy.' Sure, blame the new guy. Ignore the fact that I've lost everyone I've ever known and cared about - my parents, my little sister, my friends. I saw the world go to pieces before my eyes and I survived that _alone_. I saw girls commit suicide and turn into monsters and eat their friends. I saw my teacher get his fucking _leg _chopped off and still turn and my best friend get eaten before my eyes! Did none of these things count? Did anyone even bother asking me how I felt about all this? I'm just a teenager, but I have feelings too! It was always, _always _either about the kids or Carley or whoever - I don't know, but I was always ignored! The bandits threatened to torture me and kill the group!"

"So what did I do? I made a deal. I'm not proud of it, get it? But I didn't want anyone else to die. I was just trying to fucking _help _for a goddamn change! Everything was going peachy until Lee started playing Sherlock Holmes. If I hadn't made that deal, we would all have been wiped out much earlier. Lilly was being a bitch to me about it. Carley didn't deserve to die, okay? I didn't want her to die! I know I should have owned up, but I didn't, and there's _nothing _I can do to change it even if I wanted to! Can't you see, all I did was help us! FUCK!"

_~It was the roar of the crowd_

_That gave me heartache to sing_

_It was a lie when they smiled_

_And said you won't feel a thing~_

Ben's shoulders heaved and he felt like a great weight had just been expelled from his heart. Amazingly, it seemed like Katjaa and Duck hadn't stirred. Clem, on the other hand, had taken in everything he said. A silence stretched out in front of them, broken only by the sounds of grunt and exertion from the men outside. Ben swore that he could practically hear a needle drop.

"I'm sorry."

The quiet words startled Ben, and he jumped. "What?"

"I'm sorry. For accusing you, that is," Clem repeated, meeting his eyes. "I didn't know you felt that way, Ben. I'm really sorry I accused you of betraying us."

_Whoah, what the fuck?_ _Clem was saying sorry to him? _Ben couldn't wrap his head around that concept. She... was apologizing to him for accusing him wrongly? Despite the fact that he had gotten Carley (and probably Lilly) killed? "What are you saying sorry for, Clem? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I'm saying sorry because I hurt your feelings and made you angry." Clementine took his big hands in her own small ones and squeezed them gently. "After all, friends should always look out for each other, shouldn't they?"

"But-but," Ben stammered. "All the mistakes I've made... I've screwed up so many times."

"I forgive you."

Just those three simple words were enough to make Ben feel like his heart had been ripped out and sewn back apart. _He was forgiven. _Clem smiled at him, before clambering over to hug Ben. "I'll always be by your side, Ben. Everyone needs a friend, and I'll be that friend for you. Besides, friends don't leave friends behind." She mimed zipping her lips and throwing away the key.

The secret was forever sealed behind their lips - that would remain silent for the rest of eternity.

_~And as we ran from the cops_

_We laughed so hard it would sting~_


End file.
